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  • Wife's lecture

    The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night.

    The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

    The officer said, "Oh really, and who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

    And the man said "That would be my wife."

  • straps

    Teacher and her 3 boy students:

    Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
    Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.”
    Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.”

    Boy 2 laughed…
    Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
    Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.”
    Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.”

    Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class…
    Teacher: “Why are you leaving?”
    Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”

  • Eating bananas

    A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.

    Her mom calmly said, “That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair.” …. the girl smiled.

    At dinner, she told her sister, “My monkey has grown hair.”

    Her sister smiled and said, “That’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas.”

  • Daddy's lap

    Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
    give up my seat to a lady.
    Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
    Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.


  • Panty!

    DAUGHTER: Mom, that man gave me $10 to climb that tree.
    MOTHER: Stupid! he wanted to see your panty!
    DAUGHTER: Ahah! I'm clever, I did not wear any of them!


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